m0llip0p

This post doesn't deserve a subject.

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:29:37 GMT

I just want him to love me.
I just want to be pretty enough, and caring enough, and good enough for him to love me the way he used to love me.
He says that he still does, and that he isn't going to leave me, but I feel the distance growing between us every day.
And now to tell me that he doesn't know if we'll ever get married, after we planned a wedding?
I don't know how to take all of this.
I try to stay afloat, and try to act upbeat, but I can't.
I'm trying to think of nice things to do for him to try and make him feel happy, but all his happiness is gone.
And I'm going down with it.

Le sigh.

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:16:36 GMT

I just haven't been updating as much as usual lately.
You know how it goes.

So, as a re-cap, here are ten new things that have happened to me since I last updated:

1. I got my smiley pierced. It's neat, other than the plaque that collects on it from time to time. When I smile, it looks like I have braces.
I don't like that so much.

2. My roommate and I both got baby bunnies from the pet store.
I named mine Peach, after the princess in the Mario games, although it is a boy.
She named hers Poe, after Edgar, because he looks like an emo poet.
And my boyfriend named his rat Pippin, after nothing. His rat sucks.
They all lived in loving harmony in the same cage.
But Poe died yesterday after he had a seizure. =[

3. I have three photoshoots coming up within the next few weeks. I'm more than excited, but nervous also, because of my increasing health problems and every shoot is somewhere where I have to travel quite a distance to get to.

4. I had an anxiety attack that put me in the emergency room. It was pretty stupid.

5. My therapist gave me new meds and gave me way too hgih of a dose, so I almost died. Well, we had to call poison control, anyway. It was terrible, and now I have a fear of medications, which is ironic and sad, because I love medications. Perhaps, though, this will wean me off of taking so many. I got put on a new one which seems to be helping.

6. I lost a pound. I was thrilled, because it's just a start, but I've been eating too much shit since then and have been too afraid to check the scale. I think I will tonight.
Maybe after I do some crunches and ride my exercise bike for a while.
Give me some ambition, people. I'm turning into a fatty.
And for what, rolls and cookies?
Booooo.

7. My boyfriend and I may have found an apartment to move into when our lease is up. We're going to look at it tomorrow.
How we're going to afford it, we have no idea.
We'll have to work on that little complication.

8. Flavor of Love Season 3 has begun. This means every Monday night, the couch and I will be lovers, cuddling and enjoying some classy entertainment.
No exceptions.

9. I tried to bleach my hair. It killed it.
My hair is still in decent shape, but the red wouldn't come out, so I'm left wiht nasty, pink-orange hair that looks trashier than Britney Spears and Courtney Love making out.

10. I dropped my phone in a glass of chocolate milk and broke it.
Now I have no phone, and no money for a new one.
Such is life, I suppose.
=[

The end.

Orlando, ahoy!

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:51:43 GMT

Oh, happy day.

I found out today that I may be getting to go to Florida over spring break.

A girl I met when I was there three years ago and I still talk on Myspace, and I told her it would be great to get to go there and see her again.
Florida is my favorite place on the planet and we've gotten to go every year, but we won't get to go this year because my family is struggling financially.
I also can't ever move there because my boyfriend has an irrational fear of global warming happening too soon, and how we're going to drown if we go there along with every other person that lives in the state.
=/

Anyway, she's younger than I am, and since she still lives at home, her mom said it'd be cool if I stayed there.
But even BETTER news is that she works at Gaylord Palms, the most amazing hotel I've ever seen in my life (if you've never heard of it, google it and go to the main website; you'll be salivating over it) and can get rooms for 29 bucks (vs. the usual $300 it costs to stay there).
I also checked Priceline and bid on tickets, and I can get my plane ticket for $52. That includes taxes and fees, and lets me fly out of Fargo, which is usually insanely expensive.

If this all ends up working out, it'll be absolutely fantastic.
I can't wait. :D

I started work today also.
I work at PCI, which is a call center. I call people across the country and remind them of appointments.
It's ridiculously easy and starts me out at $9.00/hr.
So I can't complain.

Well.
I'm getting a cold, so I'm going to go take a bath and some flu meds.

Please leave affection in the form of comments.
<3

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:10:32 GMT

First entry, ahoy!

I'm not really a fan of livejournal, but there are some interesting things to look at on here, so I figured I'd go ahead and make a new account worth checking on once in a while.
Let's be friends, yes?